My Dependent

You tell me that we never leave the house,
And that I’m not interesting anymore,
But you have no right to say that.
I have more obligations than you,
You have too much free time on your hands,
You need to find a hobby,
You need to find something you’re good at,
So that you can keep yourself occupied.
I can’t always be there to entertain you,
A part of me wants to be productive at times,
And right now I feel you’re bringing me down,
As you complain that I’m not paying attention,
That I never give you the light of day.
That’s simply not true.
I have given you so much,
And I’m beginning to feel used.
I’m beginning to regret my decisions,
You’re being ungrateful and stubborn,
Simply because I opt to do work instead of be with you.
I’m afraid that there is a simple lesson in all of this,
And unfortunately, that lesson involves me leaving,
Breaking away from you, so that you finally realize,
What it’s like to have no one to depend on.

Posted in Scenarios | Leave a comment

Beauty

I try to make up for what I lack in looks.
I try so hard to make you realize,
To make you notice me.
But alas you are too indulged in aesthetics,
To understand true beauty.

I would be a liar if I proclaimed I didn’t envy you,
Right now, at this very moment.
You are beautiful, but you are cursed,
By something none of us can overcome:
Time.

Everything is going so swimmingly for you right now,
But eventually one day, down the road of life,
I will see you again on top of the hill,
When there’s no more going up,
And all you have to look forward to is steep slope.
That’s when I’ll keenly nod at you,
Knowing that even though I was not beautiful, like you,
I was still beautiful all along.

Posted in Poetry, Scenarios | Leave a comment

New Friends

I’m invisible to you,
And all your infinite needs,
Not matter my efforts,
You’re caught up in greed.

Relinquished of my rights,
I gave into your cause,
Stripped of all my dignity,
A silence without a pause.

Such convoluted ideas,
You’re perplexing my routine,
Finding the best answer,
Is the hardest thing it seems.

Strayed away from the path,
Reluctant to carry forth,
Taking the various shortcuts,
To discover our unalloyed worth.

We’re walking down this road,
Of an eternity of bitter ends,
Crying with every step,
As we lose each other as friends.

Posted in Poetry, Scenarios | Leave a comment

Living In Hell

You contradict my statements,
You’re trying to prove me wrong,
Despite your better efforts,
I’ll believe what I believed all along.

The forecast of my future,
Shows cloudy skies of hate,
Clouded by your perception,
Of what’s rightly my destine fate.

You love to control all others,
But hate to be controlled yourself,
It’s always a losing battle,
When you’re life’s a living hell.

Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Fulfilled

Beginning at the beginning,
Of all the sadness and hate,
Bound to societal norms,
Our prolonged inevitable fate,
Chastised for what we love,
Ridiculed for what we lack,
Our best is never enough,
Our privileges taken back,
Going about our days,
Serving for all the wrong reasons,
Trying to capture love,
In this depressing hellish season,
These chains in which I’m bound,
Are stronger than my will,
I guess I’m never to be found,
So I’ll remain here unfulfilled.

Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Tricks Of The Trade

Your sad face brings me down,
Remove it and be happy once more.

Your cold fingers chill my hand,
Let me warm them inside mine.

Your wet hair covers your face,
Let me pull it back to reveal your beauty.

Your smile illuminates the room,
Let us walk hand-in-hand mirroring each other.

Your curves excite my senses,
Be with me now upon this night.

Your touch makes my heart beat faster,
Hold me close and understand your affect.

Your convincing ways are persuasive,
I am on my knees at your very wish.

Your seduction worked perfectly,
I fell for your trickery and am now left with nothing.

Posted in Poetry, Scenarios | Leave a comment

On My Back

We try to kid ourselves,
That we have something good here,
Masking our tears in smiles,
As our hearts sink deeper into our chests.
We want to believe in something,
So that we have some sort of hope,
But we know that can’t always be the case.
Sometimes you have to realize,
That you’re indefinitely alone,
And no one is coming to rescue you.
You have to fight your way forward,
To make any progress in life.
I’ve watched myself descend into depression,
Back when I thought everything would change,
Without me needing to do anything.
The times just got worse and worse,
Until I couldn’t even pull myself out of bed.
I would lay there, with restless eyes,
And a body that refused to move.
I would toss and turn,
Getting sores from laying down for too long.
I knew I had to do something,
But I wanted someone else to do something.
In the end, my depression got the better of me,
And my friend ended up rescuing me,
Taking me to a nearby clinic where I received help.
I stayed there for a a few days,
Until my hatred for the chalky food drove me to be motivated.
I went back home,
I would be lying if I told you I didn’t contemplate sleeping again,
But I didn’t.
For some reason, at that moment, I became motivated.
I felt like I needed to exert energy,
Everything that was making me depressed came out,
I started to be productive again,
Reassuring myself it was the right choice,
And by the time the early hours of the morning rolled around,
I was finally exhausted, but I didn’t want to sleep.
So I didn’t.
I stayed up all night and continue my work,
Until I passed out on my desk.

I woke in the hazy afternoon sunshine,
And realized I had been in the middle of writing when I fell asleep,
I stared at the words on the screen in front of me,
Trying to figure out what I meant by then.
They read,

“Don’t kid yourself fool,
You haven’t succeeded in the past,
What makes you think you can now?”

I stared blankly at the screen for many minutes,
Reciting those words over and over in my head.
Eventually, I turned, and crawled back into bed.

Posted in Poetry, Scenarios | Leave a comment

The Decline

The decline has begun,
All these lost souls during winter,
Feeling the anxiety of the cold,
And the sadness of darkening days.
When the wind blows strongly,
Penetrating your clothes,
Eager to chill you to the bone.
Winter – the seasonal decline,
Is taking its toll on the ones close to me.
I can see their diminished spirits,
As they look out into nothing,
Staring endlessly into the air,
Hoping for something new to arrive,
However the are only met by dry air.
Everyone goes about their lives,
Hoping to remain entertained during these months,
But, not everyone can be entertained.
And those who are basking in boredom,
Are the first ones to break.
They start doubting situations,
Blaming themselves – blaming others for their problems.
They hope to spark some sort of interest,
Even if it causes negative friction,
They’re ready to take on the consequences,
Because they have nothing left in them.
Their just a meandering shell of a human,
Fulfilling their mundane routine,
While the winter chaps their once lively optimism.
The decline is here once again,
We must push through it,
For it will eventually get better in a few months,
It always does.

Posted in Scenarios | Leave a comment

Worth Fighting For

You ask me,
Why do I even bother any more?
Every time I attempt to do something good,
You put me down for my actions.
You tell me that there’s no way I can change anything,
You tell me that I should just give up on it.

People put me down everyday,
Simply for trying to help others out.
They say it’s a lost cause,
They say that I’m fighting for nothing,
But I’m not going to believe that bullshit.

I’m fought for too long to give up now,
And if what I’m fighting for isn’t up to their standards,
Then they don’t have to pay attention to me.
I’ve finally discovered something that I’m happy with,
Something that’s truly worth getting up for in the morning,
And neither you nor anyone else can take that away from me.

Posted in Scenarios | Leave a comment

Something I Lost

I’ve lost my sense of humor.
The one ideal that puts me ahead of the curve,
I’ve lost it.

Something in me has changed for the worst,
I’m just not confident anymore.
Society has lost faith in me,
And I have lost faith in me.
Gone are the times of endless smiles and laughter,
Back when I had something to offer.

People say I’m maturing,
People say I can’t always be like that,
People say to get over myself.
Maybe I am maturing,
And if this is what it’s like,
Then I have a long road ahead of me,
For I am not one to give high regard to responsibility,
I know what I want from life,
And I’m going to go after it,
Even if that means that I never grow up.

I’ve lost my sense of humor,
I’ve lost my personality,
Slowly but surely,
I’m growing up and losing myself.

Posted in Scenarios | Leave a comment